I Am Old Boy

Let me begin by saying welcome back to MJ's blog. I must apologize for not updating this sucker in quite awhile. I'll follow that apology with a sincere thank you for your return. With no more digression, let IT begin...again...

So much has happened since the last time I've been on here and I ask myself "Why haven't I posted any of it?" I think that the most logical answer to this is that things that had once seemed unique have become sadly routine and, frankly, unimpressive. But something unique did happen to me recently. In fact, it happened two days ago!

My social life in Korea has taken a mediocre boost with my acquiring a few key pieces of technology: my cell phone and lap top. I hang out with some really neat Koreans in my area, that aren't forty years old. One is a preciously adorable girl named Sarah and her close life long friend, Jungu (for those of you not familiar with Korean names that is indeed a man's name). Lately, we had gone to malls together, saw the Christmas Carol and had SEVERAL meals together.

Two nights ago was Sunday night and I had no plans and was very ambitious to find something to do. I texted (it's an amazing new verb meaning: to text. Yes, I just changed a noun to a verb! [Language is FUN!]) Sarah to see if she wanted to go see a movie. She made the clever suggestion to go see a movie at a DVD Bang (pronounced BONG). You've heard me talk about PC Bangs before; that is where I had written all of my previous posts. Well here is your first lesson in Korean: bang means "room." So when I say DVD Bang I literally mean a DVD Room. Whatever you're imagining is probably more right than you even know.

We took our time deciding on which DVD Bang was most worthy of our 13,000 won. We decided on one and headed on up.

Entering the place of business we were greeted with an assortment of His/Her slippers to put on for the duration of our stay. The shoes that had got us there, we locked up in miniature lockers. In front us stood a huge wall of movies to choose from. All sorts of titles: Korean, American, and Japanese. I was overwhelmed, how am I suppose to pick a movie from a selection of three countries and languages?! I narrowed my decision to picking a Korean movie since I hadn't experience that side of this country's culture. Sarah picked out the three titles she thought were most popular and famous in Korea. I decided in the same style I always do: fate, by a flip of a coin. That inescapable fate lead me, ironically, to Old Boy. Old Boy is a film littered with metaphors of fate, destiny and unavoidable tragedy.

With our selection we payed and were told we could have as much of the treats in the lobby: pretzels!, ice cream!, crazy Korean snack-like cookies!! Needless to say I loaded up; If I'm paying for something I want to get my money's worth, eh?

We walked into the room and I immediately came to the conclusion that the people working at this place were probably certain we'd be, to borrow a term from Catcher in the Rye, "necking" all through the movie.

The room was perhaps 12ft. by 6ft. with the screen at one end and the projector above our heads. Between the two walls was nothing but a mattress and enough pillows to create another mattress. This room was made for getting down to business, I couldn't help but think perhaps Sarah is sending me a message, or maybe I to her since I picked this particular location. Either way, mixed signals were clouding the air. (Foreshadowing???)

The movie began and I have to say that Old Boy is a great film, depressing but GREAT. I would highly recommend it to everyone I know. It has more twists than M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, 6th Sense and The Village COMBINED! It's filled with a multitude of great quotes

such as "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone" and "Sand or Stone they sink

just the same" both quotes which hold deep meanings in the movie and with the night ahead.

The movie ended in tragic fashion but would not have been as good otherwise.

Sarah and I got ice cream then decided to walk her home.

Okay, I'm going to bear my soul to all of you for two reasons now. I'm not lonely here and I'm not

desperate for any relationships, as any of you who have known me already well know that I'm happiest

alone. But, I owe a tale to make up for my lack of dedication to this blog and for making you read this

much of a story. Your obviously holding out for some sort of a kicker. Well here it comes, I hope your wearing a

cup.

I walked Sarah home, which is about fifteen minutes on foot away from where I live. It's not a bad walk, one way

which is down hill, not to mention its a damn cold night. We talked the whole way back and were sharing

our thoughts on different movies, steroids, computers, etc... it was a long walk. At the end of this walk

I always ask myself the same stupid question, "is she expecting something from me?" Traditionally, the

many times I had walked her back before I had always just waved goodbye and left, without even a hug.

But, this time was different.

Everyone has been in this position (God I hope I'm not the only one!): You have the feeling someone likes

you but because of a mutual shyness neither can ever tell for sure or not. Usually, one will perform a series

of experiments i.e. strategic gestures of affections (hugs, arm touches, sheltering...), ask questions, do anything

to get a read on the opposite individual. Well, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures and some

of us dive in head first not knowing how deep or shallow the the water was.

The water was no thicker than the surface in my case.

I jumped in and received the dreaded head pull-back in repulsion. If you think that's shameful, imagine the yelp

of shock she let out! Ha, all I could do was laugh my ass off, literally. I saw the scene from her point of view,

mine and omniscient perspective all that the same time and all three were hilarious beyond containment. I

said goodbye and left cracking up. All the way home, 15 minutes of it, uphill, in the cold, one thing went

through my head constantly, "laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone." And, like Old

Boy, this night would not have been as good of a story to tell had it ended any other way.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm back!

P.S. Sorry the writing isn't as good, I'm rusty.

Hell's Little Angel

This will be my best attempt to try and explain what happened to me yesterday. Perhaps it’s karma for all the teachers I KNOW I pestered in my own innocent fashion. I say innocent because I never did anything worse than talking…constantly…and maybe calling Mr. Wilson’s classroom phone to call Bryna or posting a sign pleading “FREE BRYNA” on his window, but he had it coming. You know what I never did? I never stabbed a teacher. That’s right, MJ, the guy who taught at ghetto Saginaw High School and never had a worse problem than having a tardy student walk out because of a supposed “girl problem” GOT STABBED. By who was I assaulted? A 7 year old (Koreans are born already being 1, not like the rest of the world who start at 0) student Louie. I’m sure your all assuming as you read this different scenarios to justify this child for impaling me. So, at this time, I will lay out the context for this act and describe verbatim what occurred at 1:50pm on Monday October the 12th. Louie is an active kid but none would classify him as a delinquent. He avoids this connotation by cunningly being the smartest kid in the room. I’ve experienced first-hand what it is like to be an above average (graciously termed) student yet a complete ass in the classroom. It’s great. People focus on your upside constantly and either enable your bad behavior or crack from your constant annoyance (I again cite Mr. Wilson). Because of the perceived “upside,” which may never pan out (ahem), teachers are reluctant to turn you away from education by punishing you. This is Louie’s life, as I view it in the two weeks I’ve been teaching here (further explanation ahead). There’s your context. And now the setting.
It’s Monday, I’m in a great mood to start y second real week of teaching. Looking at my calendar I’ve been in South Korea for a month come Tuesday, eleven more to go. A quick tabulation and I’m about 8% complete! Talk about a positive jump on the day. I get to work 3 hours early because I enjoy everyone there, I like to get prepared well, and, of course, it has free internet access (So, guess where I’m writing this). My day gets better when I notice one of my favorite people, Ashely Bowen, is logged onto Skype (mj.gerhard CALL ME!). I call her without a second thought and we have a fantastic conversation for 40+ minutes, where I learn the Cowboys won in OT (day’s getting better), before it’s time for me to prepare for classes. Preparing only takes me an hour so my day’s getting better and better with every passing moment. I have so much free time that I head to Dunkin Donuts for my favorite, Honey Fritters! This was the best start of a week that I had since arriving in Seoul (you see where I’m going with this already, huh?).
Time for my first class is at 1:40pm, Math. I follow my general routine, asking all the students, six of them, how they are individually. As a reward system we draw happy faces on the board. My day’s so great I’m drawing elaborate dragons for the boys and princess faces for the girls. Nobody is really out of line and class is going smoothly. We start our work which consists of the kids counting up from certain numbers. All six students are working diligently and are excited to show me their work as they’re completing it. I’m doing the teacher thing of walking around and giving each student glowing praise i.e. “great hand writing, Ella!”, “you’re so smart, Andy!”, etc… I get around to Louis and I see he’s already finished the whole page before any of the others. “GREAT JOB LOUIE! Dang your smart! HIGH FIVE!”
Read that quote again and let it sink in. Think hard about how you would feel after being given that sort of affirmation. Did you accept the high five? If you did, then you are like everyone I have ever offered a high five to…until Louie at 1:50pm on October 12th, 2009.
Pay ATTENTION, because the next few moments are tattooed to my memory. Louie looks at my open palm held in front of him. Louie then looks at the pencil grasped in his hand. You could see the cogs turning in his head. And, like a snake he shot his closed fist, in a stabbing motion, right into my open palm. Then he shot his face up to mine, and grinned.
Who knows me best? What do you think “typical” MJ would do in reaction to such an act against his person? I was taken aback. I suddenly knew what Stalin felt like when Hitler broke their treaty in invaded the Soviet Union. How could such an offer, a high five, not only be refused but ABUSED?!
Well, I’ll tell you what I did: I erased all his damn smiley faces including the dragon damn it. Honestly, I had no words. Lack of words not, from my temper but from shock. How does one ever offer a high five again without fear of reprimand? I then threw my trump card on the table, one more outburst or act of misbehavior and Louie was going to the babies’ classroom- a fate worse than death. I couldn’t help but think, was I Neville Chamberlain offering Czechoslovakia to Adolf Hitler as appeasement for “Peace in our time”? It didn’t take long to find out. I tried to continue class immediately without breaking the awesome rhythm we had going. But it was the blood coming from my palm that was causing distractions now. If you’re bleeding (and yes, gingers do bleed) then the students can’t look at anything else. I went to the teachers’ office to get a band aid which brought attention I didn’t want. The Korean teacher made Louie apologize which made me look/feel impotent. And after great delay and many distractions I tried to resume class. CUE LOUIE, time to disrupt. I asked him and everyone to put their pencil cases away, I never allow them out. Oh wait, Louie needs to get out a new pencil first, and why? Because the flipping lead broke off in my palm, in the precarious center where no manmade band aid can hope to stay. Louie gets his pencil out via chaos: he shakes his pencil bag back and forth violently until all it’s contents splash away, disturbing the brief tranquility I had momentarily established. Chaos breeds more chaos as a pencil hit Andy in the head bringing the total assaults in an hour to two.
Dare I say I relished in fulfilling my promise aforementioned? I will say slight vindication did strike me a I dragged Louie into the Baby Classroom, crying. I don’t mean to say I’m glad I mad him cry but that I was able to establish myself as a person who means what he says. I don’t want to be the teacher that wields empty threats, I strive for consistency: what I always say, I always mean. What ruins it is when enablers get involved and justify the individual’s actions as if they understand the inner psyche of a 7 year old (6 in the U.S.). Nothing sticks in my craw more than when people tell me that what I saw and experienced wasn’t that at all. “Oh, it must have been an accident.” “He’s so smart, and I don’t think he knew what he was doing” (real quote/former disagrees with the later= contradiction). But these people are like me in many ways: naïve, trying to see the best in people despite what is apparent. I’m glad I work with such warm-hearted individuals honestly. They will always try to do what’s best for everyone and in the kindest manner. I just hope we’re truly helping and not hurting students by such actions.
I look forward to Wednesday when I see Louie again. He’s a great kid with a sharp intellect. I could never hold a grudge on him for his actions, he is, after all, 7 years old (6 in the U.S.). If I did, then, in a way, I’d be holding a vendetta on myself because in many ways I was Louie and still am. God knows I'll never offer him a high five again!

Koreans Love Booze

Long time no see. Luckily, this time I have material to write about. First, lets address my writing schedule. Since I work all week long and I don't yet own a computer I have been doing all my writing in PC rooms which means I have to wait till the weekend. This is a good thing and a bad thing. First the bad: it means my readers (what few I have) can get complacent and forget about my blog altogether. But the good part is that I have a week worth of material to put online to insure a better than decent story.
Korean business men get drunk! Here a a few tidbit pieces about my experiences with drunk Koreans this past week.
Story #1
Finally, my knee is feeling a ton better! Monday night was the last night of the Chu Seok holiday and I was beyond the definition of bored. I had read three books in four days and my body was begging for activity. It all began with me juggling the ball in my apartment. See, at this point I had made up my mind that I would wait one more week before I attempted to go play a real game of soccer. Playing with my ball in the small apartment wasn't doing it for me so I decided what the hell, "I'll just go down to the field and juggle the ball there and not actually kick it around. " Well just as playing with the ball in my room led me to playing on the field, playing on the field led me to kicking the ball at the goal. My confidence was growing with every shot. Eventually, an older man, Dae Jwon, asked if I would like to play with him and his friends versus some high schoolers. These were your typical Korean high schoolers, dressed to the height of fashion to play soccer and took to themselves as real high and mighty. Game on I say. In the back of my mind I knew I had to restrain myself from playing all out, had to protect my knee and all.
Competition gets the best of all of us. Those damn high schoolers score two goals immediately and I just wasn't going to allow myself to beaten, not on my first night back playing dammit. I started to step up my game and actually sprint. Perhaps, it was the fact that I wasn't playing all out at first but when I turn "it" on the high schoolers didn't know immediately how to adjust, so the slide tackled me in the box from behind very cheap-like. Penalty Kick time! That was my first goal of three that night. We eventually won 5 to 4 and sent those emo-styled high schoolers packing with our "Kashamnidas" (thank yous) but even that wasn't what left an impression on me. High above the field on one of the many benches surrounding the field was a very drunk man that I can only assume was a war veteran. The ENTIRE time we were there that night, 8pm to 10pm, this man was yelling Korean constantly. Luckily, I don't know Korean because I can only imagine him commenting on the "Ginger American can't play Soccer/Why don't you get some sleeves for that shirt/Who hid my Soju?" A testament to the kindness of Koreans was displayed when after polishing off a bottle of Soju HE WOULD THROW IT DOWN TOWARDS US! It would shatter and go everywhere and then he'd yell at his loudest as everyone stopped and stared for a moment, allowing him a stage to perform. His act was immediately recognized as melodramatic and induced by the Soju and the remnants that laid around the track in his vicinity. This play of his had 4 acts total that night, and 4 shattered bottles of Soju to testify it.
Story #2
This previous Friday night a bunch of us English teachers decided to go out and get some food together and top it all off with drinks. The meal was amazing. I must say that of all the food I've had on different continents nothing compares to what the Koreans offer. If you like meat and spicy food a la Chipotle well Korean food is for you, plus its dirt cheap. After our meal and drinks we had to decide what to do next. Luckily, some of our Korean teachers met up with us, Lucia and Clair (those are their English names, their real one's are much hard to say much less spell). The general consensus was for a Nora Bong aka Karaoke. But, this isn't your normal singing bar that one might imagine. In Korea you pay when you enter and then you get a private room to yourselves with a big screen and loud surround sound plus two microphones. Oddly enough its "technically" illegal to drink in singing rooms but that wouldn't stop this clever ginger. I grab one of my mate's bag and headed to the nearest convenience store to stock up on Cafri Beers (much like Corona) and bottles of Soju. Once, I got back the singing had already commenced. The book of songs to choose was like a phone book of songs from all over the world. I sang Muse- Hysteria, Green Day- Basket Case, 99 Red Balloons, and we all sang a chorus of the Cranberries- Zombie! We were in that room for over two hours and it was time well spent. The highlight of which was Glen's rendition of Electric Six- "Gay Bar" a hilarious song (please check out the link). We probably would have stayed longer had it not been for the fact that our voices were failing miserably, an affliction affecting me even on this Sunday.
After the Nora Bong (Singing Room) we headed to a nearby convenience store where I bought a pitcher that came with glasses and we all sat outside and enjoyed conversation while watching the drunken businessmen pass by. One would stubble as if his legs were made of rubber. Three other ones were wrestling not 10 feet from us, fully dressed in suits. They accidentally dropped their beers and broke them only to continue wrestling in the trash bags that were stacked up along the street, a truly comedic sight. The best part was when this trio walked over to a moped one of them apparently owned. Each took his turn trying to drive it. One almost parked it INSIDE the convenience store. They would throttle up and immediately realize their eyes couldn't keep up and would lock the brakes creating a jerky forward and stopping motion. So funny, all of us were crying or at least me. At last, one got on the moped and sped away swerving the entire way down the sidewalk. Their night had come to a close and ours was quickly approaching it. We finished the pitcher and walked home together chatting in pairs. I finished the night standing outside alone smoking one of my cigars. Koreans party on a whole 'nother level, yall.

This PC Bang won't allow me to load pictures, I promise to post them soon. I have some of the Businessmen!

Holiday=BOREDOM!

Sorry I haven't updated this sucker in awhile but truth be told there's nothing exciting to update. The biggest event of this past week was that I actually started working as an English teacher. I have no idea why people get worked up when starting a new job, especially one of this type. First off, no job I'll have will be as hard as the work in college was. That said, no job will ever be as fun as college neither. I'm pretty much a babysitter of kids now and I keep them busy by chatting with them. My lessons usually consist of me saying things like: "How are you today?" "What is today?" "What is the weather like today?" "What do you see in the picture?" "No, we're not going to play hangman." "Get out your workbooks and start on page ..." "Who knows the answer to ..." "So everyone is done? I guess we'll play hangman."
That's my routine so far. I'm only in each class for 40 minutes so it's not as if it's overbearing and the kids are still learning English because I'm not speaking Korean with them. In fact, the most fun classes are the ones where we all just sit and chat instead of following the same boring routine of listen, repeat, now you do it on your own. Kids here are remarkably smart and pick up on things super easy. They can read and write much better than they can speak English so the workbooks are done as soon as they're assigned. Their parents ride them worst then anything close to parents in America. As soon as the kids leave public school, they come to our English school, after that they head to Taekwondo, Robotics, Music lessons etc... Most get homework from each school and don't get home till 11pm!!! Then they get up with the Sun and they're back to the same routine.
Meanwhile, your narrator and lazy American compatriot is spending the Chuseok holiday reading in his new place and going to PC Bangs (Internet rooms) and keeping up with World affairs. Chuseok is the equivalent of Thanksgiving in America and its completely boring. Why? Everything is shut down for 3-4 DAYS! For someone who just got to Korea and doesn't have much to do anyways, limiting my options doesn't motivate me to look hard. My reaction- become a hermit. I've finished two books in four days; it's amazing what one can accomplish without TV or computer access. Someone save me, because all I want to do is go back to work!?!

Went Convenient Store Drinking...

on Thursday night, and it was quite convenient! This post is a sandwich.

The Bread: I'll start this post where I start most of my days, in the morning. Oddly enough, after being in Korea for a little over a week and a half I had my first experience of truly missing home. I remember waking up and looking around and thinking to myself, "being home would be nice right now." I had no time to dwell on that though as it was my second day of training and I had to get on the Korail Subway and head to Jongno 3-ga which takes about a hour. Heading out the door of my love motel I followed my typical routine of locking the door and turning my Ipod on, with the usually dilemma of what to choose (picking a single band out of 40+ gigs is a bit tedious but God Bless problems like that). My scroller lands on Band of Horses, great, I hadn't listen to them in ages. It had occurred to me that Band of Horses would be splendid walking music especially on such a gorgeously clear morning but as the album begun a feeling struck me. The same as when I woke up but now it was induce by this auditory stimulation, Band of Horses makes me miss home...and Casey Shnitzer for some odd reason (I don't know the connection either, perhaps the time we listen to them on the dock at Steve's). I didn't dwell on my homesickness for long because I was soon on the adventure of finding my way through the labyrinth of Korail Subway System, which I'm terrible at navigating.

The Meat, Lettuce, and Tomato: After a full day of TTP Training, our little group of 9 decided to celebrate the evening by grabbing some dinner together and exploring the downtown area of Seoul in which we were located called Jongno-3 ga. Rick, our trainer and trusty mentor gave us the grand advice that drinking in convenience stores is not only cheaper but much more fun that drinking at bars. Cheap is my middle name (just after Jeffery and before Danger) and everyone else agreed. We decided to make a circuit of the area drinking, while stopping occasionally at convenience stores to grab some alcohol. See, anyone can drink on the streets in Seoul and this plan was bloody brilliant plan. A beer at a gas station is anywhere from 1200 won (12 oz.) to 2000 won (liter) which is dirt cheap ($1=~1200 won). The issue we came across was finding a place we all agreed to eat at especially with two vegetarians among us, one of which was full vegan. Mind you that Korea is a country that eats dogs; finding a meal without meat is like finding a queer at the Republican National Convention. Not to mention it was past 7 which means all the businessmen are done at work and are getting started on their fifth bottle of Soju, so space for 9 loud North Americans (some of us were Canadian) was going to be a dodgy task. Meanwhile, my limp from my torn MCL was getting more and more evident and the group as a whole was beginning to feel the drinks that had accumulated over the past few convenience stores. Luckily, your trusty narrator, me, found a place that served chicken (which one of the vegetarians would eat, the other had already left us) and had room for 8. The catch was that the only place we could sit was in the back of the restaurant in the alley. I thought this was spectacular, we could be loud and obnoxious and not give a damn. Others needed more encouragement. That encouragement came with alcohol. Since we were in the back alley this meant we could scurry away quick-like and grab some Soju and drinks from the near-by convenient store. This made the night a grand time with a plethora of food and drinks for all. A plate of Korean Fried Chicken(KFC), Hot Wings(Korean Style) and a sausage plate. Over drinks we all got to know each other, where we're from, what our plans were, and why we came to Korea. Truly a great group of people, each with interesting backgrounds wrought with pleasurable tales. But in great times of enjoyment drinks go fast and food even faster. The time had arrive to move on into the night to experience the other adventures awaiting us. Like the one at Rehap, a new bar in the same district. Rehap was supposed to be called Rehab but the construction workers messed up the "b" and placed it as a "p" much to our amusement. The club was brand-spanking-new and the drinks were on the house and I don't feel the need to reiterate my frugality, so we were all in. The club was mostly dead except for us, remember it was a Thursday night. But it was a spectacular club, full of white leather furniture, chic menus, massive dance floor, lasers, mirrored bathrooms, hallways with modern art, and a hot Asian DJ that played techno from all over the world. That all said, it's not my sort of bar but when drinks are free your bound to have a good time.

The Bottom Bread: Although the night was young, I understood that staying longer would probably lead to spending more money and eventually making it much harder to wake up for training the next morning. It was time to head back to the Love Motel from which I hadn't seen since that morning earlier where I was struck with home sickness. That illness was far behind me at this point, as I had just had a great day and night with a bed to look forward to and a nights rest ahead. Getting back was a task unto itself. If the subway is hard when your sober than its a Rubik's Cube when your inebriated only with more colors. Despite my stupor I was awestruck with the number of people on the subway, so much so that I missed my transfer to Line 1 which takes me home, which meant I had to get off at the next stop and find my way. Like a fool, I left the subway and walked out only to realize that decision was one a fool makes. So I had to pay AGAIN to get back on the subway at which point I had the fortune of running into some of the English teachers I'll be working with, one of which I'm replacing. They did me the extremely kind service of being my guides back home like the great Samaritans they are. Finally, after a few more subway stops I reached my love motel and crashed down on the bed. I picked up my head and shot a glance at the computer on the counter and decided to check my E-mail before I went to sleep. This was an unfortunate decision. I found an E-mail from my mom detailing an incident that had happened a few days prior. My Chocolate Lab, Tootsie, attacked my mother's Pekingese, Punker. The fight was in the absence of myself and my father, and as such it was a bad one. Tootsie lit into Punker and damaged him quite severely. So bad in fact that Punker will be without his right eye for the remainder of his life. My home sickness had returned ten fold. Had I been home Tootsie would have never been in the position to feel any dominance in the house and even if she had attacked Punker she would've know that it meant a kick in the ribs by your narrator. But, alas, I was not home. I am in Korea and helpless. That night, once asleep, I dreamt of Punker and of A Clockwork Orange. I was the main character, Alex, in the scene where he and his "Droogs" rape a woman in front of her husband (I'm speaking of the book, not Stanley Kubricks film although it is great). The scene was vivid and exactly the same except there was a dog in the scene, Punker. I can remember seeing him and thinking of innocence. I immediately attacked my mates and awoke from the dream. Home is a powerful thing. You can be on the other side of the world and it still touches you.

This was a sandwich that came hard to swallow. Plus I hate tomatoes.

Check out more pictures at my facebook!

A Night Out in Soul

After a week of hardly speaking any English to anyone at all, you could imagine my excitement to be meeting up with Nikola and Natalie for a night out in the University District of Seoul. Natalie and Nik are some fellow Texans that had flown over on the plane with me from Chicago, they both graduated from U.T. but they're still great people. We had arranged to meet in front of the Outback Steakhouse by where we'll be working at 9:30, but I was a bit early so I bought a slice of pizza and just walked around a bit. Then, out of nowhere, I hear someone calling me over. I look behind me and two Korean guys in their lower 20s were waving towards them. They were on their smoke break chatting outside of the Daewoo dealership they worked at. I couldn't imagine why they would want to talk to me besides the fact that I'm obviously not from that area. One asked me in very broken English if I played soccer. Apparently, the one talking to me had already told his compatriot that he had seen a tall ginger playing soccer at the local field. He had been eating his lunch when he watch me play and now he was complementing me on how I looked out there. Flattered, I told him I couldn't be that great since my knee was shot and my ankle blown. He didn't really comprehend what I was saying so I just thanked him then returned to the rendezvous. Natalie and Nik were crossing the street when I had just gotten back to the front of the Outback Steakhouse and we all agreed we should get some food before we went out. See, in Korea the bars never really close so, unlike in America, we were in no rush to get out and start drinking. At the restaurant we ordered Soju. Soju is the local alcohol that the natives drink here. It's a sort of Rice liquor a lot like Saki, it has a alcohol content of 19.5% so you take shots of it. We went through a bottle pretty fast, enjoyed the delicious Korean BBQ chicken and then it was to the subway to head out.

You know your heading in the right direction when on the subway you see Expats (people not from Korea) up and down the train. It's quite a relief when you see people you KNOW can understand you. So once we were on the streets I was down to talk to anyone. Of course, this meant I made mistakes. Like the French couple that didn't understand me, I got mad at them when they didn't respond to me. I digress. Now you want to talk about getting hyped up, I saw the area we were going to be partying at and it BLEW MY MIND! It had to be three times the size of 6th Street and just as busy, we had no idea where to start. No problem, leave it up to me. I was in the mood to meet people so I just started asking people where to go. Two nice girls recommended Club Zen because of the cheap drinks and numerous Expats. So away we went. Pretty soon, due to the sheer size of the area, we were lost. Not being afraid to ask for directions I walk up to a fellow name Ryan Stratford, from Toronto, Canada, who was actually heading to the same place to meet up with friends. Together, we all headed to what we would soon discover was not only a great place but had excellently low prices; prices that would rival Mexico's, and without the consumer-beating bouncers! In fact, everywhere we went I was typically the biggest guy in the room which, as you all know, isn't saying much. For my first round I ordered a shot of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Thai beer called Tiger. The total was 6400 won which is ~$5, and the best part is there is NO TIPPING! We spent some time at Club Zen, met a half dozen people, decided to act like we were in Texas and went bar hopping. After asking some other Expats where we should go, we started our way towards FF Bar which I can only assume means Foreigner Fun Bar. And boy was it fun. We got in and the first song to greet us was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Presidents Of the United States of America. You can imagine how Asians reacted to this song. It was immediately followed by "99 Red Balloons," a remix I've never heard. The night continued with great music from The Offspring- "Self Esteem", Nirvana, RadioHead, Rage Against the Machine- "Sleep Now in the Fire", Muse and much more. I absolutely loved that place. I was sad to leave but it was 4 in the morning. Nik, Natalie and I decided to split a cab and enjoyed a pleasant drive back, well Natalie didn't she passed out. After I was dropped off, I walked the three blocks back to my place with a grin on my face that didn't escape me even after a full nights rest. Because in Korea, everyday is beautiful. When I checked my wallet to see how much I had spent that evening the grand total came out to just under $30, thats for a meal, all the drinks till four in the morning, and the cab ride. Got to love it.

Thinks he tore his MCL and fractured his ankle...

So yesterday was my best day in Korea so far even though I'm almost positive that I tore my MCL and fractured my ankle but I'll explain that in due time. The day started off as any other with me waking up at 5 a.m. since my sleep cycle is completely off. The worst part of being off your sleep cycle that many don't realize is that your eating habits are off also. I'm hungry at crazy times of the day. So yesterday I decided to face my hunger head on and had my first authentic Korean meal. I guess when your starving anything is good yet, surprisingly, this meal was quite delicious and more importantly it was most satisfying. But my goal yesterday was to play some soccer. So I headed to the nearby field to watch a pick-up game while I read my Brave New World (how appropriate) book. Again it was a bunch of old men playing an organized game so I decided to just practice some freestyle tricks off to the side. But before I knew it I had Koreans sitting close-by and watching as others decided to jump in and play along. One of those that jumped in was a spry old man of 76, Mr. Chae. Mr. Chae speaks English as well as someone who knows and never has anyone to speak it with. His first question, "Where you from? You Canadian? 'Merican?" To which I responded, "Texas sir." He asked me what I thought of ex-pres Bush and Obama. We joked back and forth as we kick the ball to one another. Meanwhile, during all this the organized game that had been going on had finished. They had been playing on a half field and apparently wanted to play on a full field but need more players. So one of the older fellas, prob 70, who spoke semi-English asked me if I wanted to play. Ha, of course, that was the whole reason I went out there. So here I am, 23 years old, six foot three playing against men whom none of which were younger than double my age. I decided not to play full throttle and just distribute the ball to make it fair and not seem like such an American. I was playing in my indoor shoes so it was actually easy not to play all out since I had no grip. Although I wasn't playing at my best I still managed to score twice. Then half time. This is where everything got fun. The old men huddled around me and started joking with me, "Your speed, ok." They pointed at my indoor then to their cleats. Obviously, they knew I should be playing in cleats so I dug out of my bag my Copa Mundials. Anyone who knows anything about soccer knows these cleats are the Rolls Royce of soccer shoes, timeless and the best. The Koreans knew this and all of them came over to feel my cleats and show me theirs. One joked that his name was Beckham another that he was Ronaldiho. But, the best part of all this was they were all smoking cigarettes, at HALFTIME! This blew me away. These old men were running as much as me but where smoking. Second half starts and my knee starts aching horribly which affects how I play. Then while chasing a ball my ankle gets crushed by another Korean's cleat. Now I know that some would say that red heads feel more pain but this knee problem was unbearable. I went home and lied in bed and I still haven't gotten up till just now to write this. I had to put a pillow under my knee just to take the pressure off the joint. But, I wouldn't trade today for anything. It offered me my first true interaction in the local culture and with actually Koreans. I will always cherish that half-time where we all sat around joking and laughing as the older gentlemen enjoyed their cigarettes. What a great place.

Planes, Games, and Porn. My First Day in Korea

Who knew atrophy could occur in 12 hours? Me neither. Apparently sitting in the same seat that long will pretty much render a fit individual into Christopher Reeves (post Superman). See the problem with traveling that long of a trip is you have to prepare yourself for the complete boredom of travelling for over a day. My trip actually started Saturday night with a trip to Ridglea Theatre for a concert in which I moshed like someone who knew they wouldn't be able to mosh for a year. Immediately afterwards, around 1 a.m., my mother and I decided to visit 24 Hour Fitness. Then I boarded my first flight at 7 a.m. and I wouldn't be done flying till 3 a.m. U.S. central time. Those of you who know me probably consider me a tall person, well to Koreans I'm a giant, a ginger giant and they did not build their planes with me in consideration. For the 12 hour flight from Chicago to Seoul I sat with my knees bent and turned sideways. Now all that activity followed with a day of restless travel equates to a body left abandoned of energy and physically depleted. One of the highlights of my trip was when the TSA officer at the security check in Chicago pulled me aside and asked me if I was Christopher Reeves' son... As flattered as I was it actually discouraged me. What does it say about our airport security who's sole occupation is to ensure passengers safety when they mistake ME for the son of Superman? That said it's hard to feel threatened on a plane full of Asians. The plane was pretty cool though. Our flight attendants were all Asian girls wearing Kimonos with Chopsticks that held their hair in place and wore oriental-style bandanas around their throats. I had my own screen in front of me where I watch the new Star Trek and The Hangover. I also played alot of Tetris on it but mostly I just jammed music in a futile attempt to get some rest. But here I am, in Korea! It's 5:30 a.m. on Tuesday here and I'm in my posh little hotel room. I have a giant flat screen on my wall and a computer which I'm writing on now. My first impression of Korea is that they are more advanced than we are technologically i.e. I put my room key in a slot by my bathroom to turn on all the devices in the room, and when I leave it turns them all off automatically. Korean television is NUTSO! First channel on when I powered up the flat screen was a show where Koreans play each other in video games and they were playing Star Craft!!! Also porn must be an accepted part of their culture because it's on three stations 24/7 and the best part is that the girls are constantly laughing...its soooo hilarious. Now I'm going to get some sleep. Hopefully today I can find a place to play soccer or workout and maybe get some food. Buying food here is intimidating because no one can tell you what's in it.

This is MJ reporting from Gwangmyeong (Seoul), Korea. OUT.